She hadn´t gone. Of COURSE she hadn´t gone. Nina may just have been an art school gal with lycanthropic PMS, but she knew that when your hero boyfriend started making noise about hustling her out of town before disaster struck, something was about to hit the fan. And maybe he was starting to rub off on her a little, but she was done running from disaster.

Her mother and sister had taken the vacation, along with a nice guy Mom had seen a few times. Nina stayed back, giving Angel a few days before she came nosing around. She figured that would be a good plan.

And then, there was that night, when the thunder came. Storms, and lightning, and thunder like the end of the world, shaking every building along the California coast to it´s foundations. Nina remembered huddling alone at home, watching the pictures rattle themselves off the mantle, and knowing with dead certainty this was what Angel had been talking about. Whatever the thunder was, he was were the lightning was striking.

Nina set out early the next morning, immediately heading for the Wolfram and Hart offices, only to find them shut tight. A few angry looking security guards questioned her, and a bald man in a cloak with glowing eyes put his hand on her head and said she knew nothing and they shoved her away, making sure she knew never to come back.

So it was bad, then.

She spent the day checking some of the few places she and Angel had gone on dates, though she didn´t hold out much hope there. It was later in the evening when she remembered him telling her about the hotel he used to work out of, and she found the address and headed over. She got about to the end of the block when she spotted the guards there too, milling about, and she kept right on driving. Someone else was looking for him too, she guessed. Though they probably didn´t have make-up sex in mind.

She stopped her car about five blocks away and got out, sniffing the air. Maybe she could put this werewolf crap to some GOOD use, she thought, pick up his scent or something. It was worth a shot, no matter how distinctly self-demeaning she found the constant dog metaphors her life was now surrounded with. Get over it was her mantra tonight, and she made with the sniffing.

After about two hours, she picked something up.

Not specifically Angel, but he was mixed in there...Wolfram and Hart itself, she realized, that was what she was smelling. A flash of fear ran down her spine, and she moved cautiously. She didn´t want to run afoul of any of the Delta Force goons out hunting. Might not let her go so easy the next time.

She turned down a darkened street that opened onto a small park. It seemed deserted, but the scent was stronger here. A swing creaked in the night wind, and Nina squinted, trying to see if werewolf eyes could make more headway. She spotted a flash of movement by some bushes. Would commandoes hide in bushes? She really didn´t know, and took a few fretful steps closer, keeping to the shadows. It occurred to her that her light blue sweater and white pants might not have been the best choice for this covert op. What did she know? She painted fruit!

Something rustled, and Nina realized there was for sure something out there, and it was from Wolfram and Hart. She was just starting to think that maybe a vacation wouldn´t have been such a hardship after all when a figure rose up like a shot from the bushes. The hint of a scream escaped Nina before she caught herself. She didn´t move.

A lithe figure hurdled the bushes and ran towards Nina, and was on her before she could do anything but stumble awkwardly backwards a few paces. Hands like steel grabbed her arms, and Nina gave another yelp.

“Who are you?’

Nina shuddered under the girl´s intensity, recognizing her now. Her fear started to subside, but only a little.

“...Fred?’

Illyria cocked her head, giving Nina a longer look. Her face was wounded and coated in dried blood, the strange body suit she wore cracked and torn. Her eyes were impassive, inhuman...but oddly pleading. And Nina remembered. This wasn´t Fred.

Angel had told her something, about the hundredth conversation she´d had with him in a row where she´d prayed he was crazy, or joking. Told her that some million-year-old monster had come back from the grave and eaten Fred up from the inside, living inside her body like a suit of armour.

It had been one of his crazier stories. But right now, looking back into those icy eyes and feeling the iron grip of her fingers digging into her arms, Nina believed it. And the fear returned.

“You knew the shell,’ Illyria finally said, relenting her grip on Nina just a fraction. “Why are you here?’

“I-I was looking...for Angel. Please...’

“Angel,’ Illyria repeated, eyes drifting upwards. She let go of Nina, who jumped back. “We fought the forces of the Wolf, Ram and Hart. He...the half-breeds surpassed my expectations. They fought well.’

Nina rubbed her arms, watching Illyria with caution, but easing fear. She seemed a little...lost, to Nina. And then she glared back at Nina like she could see right through her.

“...but not well enough.’

Nina staggered. “No...’

“I alone remained,’ Illyria continued, seemingly talking to the sky itself (and maybe she was), “...but I am...damaged. The shell is...is broken, and needs...where is the Qwa´ha Xahn?’

Suddenly, Illyria stumbled herself, barely keeping upright, and Nina realized she was in dire straits. She moved closer without thinking about it.

“Are you all right? Can I..?’

“You can do nothing!’ Illyria cast out an imperious hand, keeping Nina back, holding her ribcage with the other. “I was ancient when this world still gasped in pains of birth...Do not imagine you approach the level of my...my...’

Her eyes fluttered, and Illyria fell to the ground unconscious. Nina watched her for a moment, then looked about to make sure no one was nearby. She bent down and touched her hair softly.

“Okay,’ she whispered quietly, trying to focus on the problem at hand, “...the falling down part? That I understood.’

When Illyria awoke next, she was in a sewer. Although it looked no more unworthy a hovel than the finest chamber of the kings of men to her numinous and divine eyes. She told Nina as much, and she rolled her own, regular eyes to the ceiling.

“It´s a shelter,’ Nina told her, changing a bandage on Illyria´s arm as she lay on a small wooden cot. There were a few amenities nearby...the section of sewer had been blocked off and converted to keep two people at most comfortable, relatively. Electricity, a small fridge, a little easel set up for drawing...and a cage.

“Angel had this set up for me a few months ago,’ she continued, throwing an old bandage into a coffee can she was using as a garbage, “...just in case, he said. In case I ever couldn´t make it into Wolfram and Hart some month. Guess he´d been planning this...this crusade, or whatever, for a while now. He never said anything...’

Slowly rising, Illyria propped herself up and sat on the edge of the cot. She had several bandages across her body. “I think I see...you were the half-breed´s concubine? You reek of his necrotic musk...’

“I was his girlfriend, all right? God, do you...do you always talk like that?’

Illyria looked confused. “Like what?’

Like a monster-God from before time who escaped from Hell, Nina didn´t say. “Never mind.’

Standing, Nina stretched and walked, a little wearily, towards the fridge. Illyria watched her intently, then examined her own form.

“You have tended my injuries,’ she noted, sounding almost disdainful at the notion,’...why have you done this? No one bade you to assist me.’

“You were hurt,’ Nina replied, grabbing a couple of Gatorades from the fridge and returning to Illyria, “...and...you were a friend of Angel´s. Well...sort of. I don´t know. You were with him...at the end. I guess I thought...you were all that was left. Here,’

Nina handed her one of the bottles, opening it first. “Drink this. Great for hangovers...might be useful for post-apocalypse r&r, too.’

Illyria sniffed at the bottle, mildly baffled. She watched Nina drinking, listening to the sound of the liquid roiling down her throat, smelling the thirst. And other things.

“You smell of grief,’ she blurted out, and Nina stopped drinking, “...for Angel. It seems I cannot escape that rank odour on this world of insects.’

Nina glared angrily at her patient, who stared back with that blank blue look that was, for all intents and purposes, unidentifiable. It was very annoying.

“Yeah, well...get over it.’

Nina rose, a little indignant, and Illyria glared at her in shock. “You dare..?’

“I just lost my boyfriend, okay?? He died in an ALLEY, fighting God knows what monsters and fiends, so yeah, I´m a little emotional. And for the record, this ‘insect´ just spent the last two days playing nursemaid for you. You may smell grief, but all MY nose can smell is all the blood I´ve drained out of your bandages. Gallons of it! I don´t know how you´re still even alive...’

Tears stopped Nina talking more, and she turned away, leaning on the bars of her cage. Illyria listened to the sobbing with fascination.

“You feel I owe you fealty for your aid? Is that your tradition?’

“You don´t owe me anything,’ Nina shouted, breathing hard, “...please, just...just be quiet.’

Illyria stared hard at Nina´s back, watching it hitch and rise with ragged tears. She tasted the fresh salt in the air.

“Perhaps,’ she began, oddly tentative, “...perhaps YOU are the Qwa´ha Xahn.’

Slowly, Nina got herself under control, sniffling and half-turning back towards Illyria for a moment. Her cheeks were red. “I don´t know what that is,’ she whispered, then returned her head to lean up against the iron bars of her cage. She stared for a few seconds at her feet, and the cracked cement of the floor, and wondered how the hell this was all going to play out. She should have just left this crazy god-lady in the park and ran. What was she..?

A hand fell on Nina´s shoulder, turning her around. Even with her wolf-ears, she hadn´t heard Illyria´s approach this time. A brief instinct to fright was rapidly quelled when she saw the crazy god-lady´s face. Somehow, those icy eyes had managed to soften, boring right into Nina´s own. Now what?

Raising her other hand, Illyria held the back of Nina´s neck and moved, kissing her passionately. Nina nearly jumped out of her skin, and Illyria´s hands moved up to hold her face, shockingly gentle with her touch. Nina froze, closing her eyes and trying not to fight...she wasn´t sure if that would be fatal or not.

And...it was a GOOD kiss.

At length, Illyria ended the embrace, pulling her lips, almost teasingly slowly, away from Nina´s own. Despite herself, Nina found herself leaning forward, searching, until she finally reopened her eyes and saw Illyria staring back at her. Back to reality.

“What,’ Nina started, having to clear her throat after a moment, “...what are you DOING?’

Illyria´s gaze turned hard again, just like that. “It brought Wesley comfort when I pressed my lips to his,’ she explained, still holding Nina with what used to be Fred´s hands, gloved fingers still astonishingly delicate across her skin. “I though it would serve for you, as well.’

“I-I...this isn´t...it´s not that I don´t appreciate...’

Anger flashed on Illyria´s cold features. “You spurn me.’

Dropping her hands, Illyria cast Nina a baleful gaze before turning and storming back to her cot. She folded her arms across her chest and sat, visibly perturbed. Nina, still propping herself up along the bars, went white with shock.

Did...did I just hurt her feelings..?

“Spurn..? No! No, not at all, that´s not...you just surprised me, that´s all.’

“You did not return my embrace, as Wesley did,’ Illyria fumed, casting a sideways glance at Nina, “...this world is filled with such arrogance. I cannot tolerate it.’

“It was not arrogance,’ Nina countered, stepping forward (having at last regained the use of her knees) , “...like I said, I was just surprised. I mean, you´re a...what, a god or something? Also a girl...’

“Girl?’ Illyria´s attention flared again. “You refer to the shell´s gender.’

“Uh..yeah. The shell...Fred...she was a girl. So are you. Kinda by default.’

Nina smiled hopefully, but Illyria continued to glare at her like she´d just scraped her off her shoe. “I do not understand. By your narrow mortal perceptions, we share the same gender. And yet you disdain it?’

“No! No disdain! What are..?’

Nina took a breath. “You´re a very difficult person to argue with, has anyone mentioned that? I don´t disdain your gender. But as a general rule, I only kiss boys. Just because I´m an art school chick...’

“You humans,’ Illyria interrupted, scorn in her regal tones, “...you think at the level of beasts.’

Nina stared, uncertain how to answer. Illyria continued to scowl, looking away.

“Perhaps you are not worthy to be Qwa´ha Xahn,’ she said, reaching out for the Gatorade bottle she´d set down earlier. She pulled it to her lips, sniffed, and took a drink.

As Nina watched her, Illyria pulled the bottle away, staring at it with interest.

“Refreshing.’

Two days passed, Nina leaving Illyria alone for lengths at a time to put in appearances at school. It made her nervous, and she was forever looking over her shoulder for Wolfram and Hart types who might want to dissect Angel´s ex for yuks. But it was still rather a comfort, being away from the ice queen, who was giving her the cold shoulder in epic fashion. Still expected her to wait on her hand and foot, of course...

Which, Nina admonished herself, she was pretty much doing. What, she was gonna say NO to her? She could grind her to dust, Nina was pretty sure, or snap her in two without even considering the effort, even still recovering as she was.

Nina´s life drawing teacher passed by and tsk´ed at her lack of effort as Nina realized, with surprising certainty, that none of those things were going to happen. Illyria wouldn´t hurt her. She knew it. And not because of the kiss...that didn´t mean anything. Couldn´t have. Right? She´s this crazy immortal demoness and...

It wasn´t because of the kiss. It was because Illyria was powerful, and ancient, and so full of herself she was in danger of going supernova...but she was the most helpless, lost soul Nina had ever met.

She needed her.

The thought gave her a jolt of panic. She´d been dreading tonight enough. But now...

Oh, God. Why hadn´t she just left her in the park and ran..?

“I will not leave,’ Illyria stated flatly, “...where would I go? This world is alien and hostile to me. You are my only remaining guide.’

“Yeah, but...’ Nina stammered, checking the time again. It was only minutes now. “You could...go to a movie! You´d like that! Something with lots of violence. No chick flicks for you, I´m pretty sure.’

Illyria regarded Nina sternly. “I know of these ‘movies´. Wesley would watch them and poison himself. They are pointless fictions, beneath me. Why do you want me to leave?’

For a second, Nina swore she could hear that hurt tone in Illyria´s voice again, but didn´t have time to dwell. “Look, it´s just...I´d like to be alone tonight, okay? Something is...there´s a thing I have...’

“You refer to the transmogrification,’ Illyria offered helpfully, “...your metamorphosis to the beast. Why should this be a concern?’

“What?’ Nina´s jaw dropped. “How did you know?’

A slight smile played on Illyria´s lips. “It is as clear to me as the brightest star. How the others of your species cannot observe such base truths is testament to their inferiority.’

Nina nodded. “Yeah, okay.’ No point arguing further, she supposed. Probably never had been. “Look, I´ve got to lock myself in this cage for the next three nights. There´s gonna be a lot of howling, and clawing, and it just might not be very fun for you here in the meantime.’

“You restrain yourself willingly?’ Illyria shuddered. “How could you bear such a thing?’

“I have to,’ Nina explained, moving towards the cage, “...I might hurt somebody. I couldn´t let that happen.’

Pulling the cage door shut after her, Illyria stared in stark wonder. “You do this to safeguard your fellow humans, then. You are their protector, as Angel was...is that why he chose you as concubine?’

“Girlfriend! And no, he...I´m not a hero, like he was. I´m just a...I´m just a monster, okay?’

“Monster?’

Nina looked at Illyria, eyes locked on her. “Would you turn around at least?’

“Why?’

Shoulders slumping, Nina let out a sigh. “I have to undress,’ she said, a little more bashful than she would have liked. Illyria smirked.

“These rags you drape across yourself are of little interest to me. Another mindless affectation of your doomed species. Wear them or not, but do not flatter yourself that I care.’

A sarcastic grin crossed Nina´s face. “You really know how to sweet talk a girl, don´t you? Fine.’

Half turning, Nina unbuttoned her blouse and dropped it outside the cage, followed by her bra, skirt, socks, and panties. Illyria never took her blue eyes off her, and Nina could feel their force on her. She tried her best to cover the usual bits.

“Why do you try and conceal parts of yourself?’ Illyria, who Nina was noticing always asked the things she really wished she wouldn´t and was starting to think it was deliberate on her part, leaned forward and rose to a stand. “Do you feel shame at your nakedness? A waste of even your irrelevant human weakness. It is as nothing to me.’

Slightly red, but more than a little defiant now, Nina let her arms fall to her sides, though she still found herself fidgeting something awful under Illyria´s laser-beam stare. The god turned her head strangely, eyes dropping down. She glanced briefly at her own body, then back at Nina.

“Your shell is more buoyant than mine,’ she noted, the barest hint of cattiness in the words. Nina´s arms shot back up across her breasts.

“Look, would you just go? It´s almost time.’

“No,’ Illyria declared, raising her noble head, “..I wish to see. Your true face.’

Nina felt her breath go short. “That´s...that´s not what it is.’

“Perhaps not,’ Illyria offered generously, moving towards the cage with ten thousand years of grace, “...but it is part of you. And I wish to know all the parts of you.’

A shudder passed through Nina at the admission, and she suddenly felt even more naked. Illyria stepped closer.

“W-why?’

Nina kicked herself, her voice breaking on the word like a little girl. Illyria took another step, coming to a halt barely a foot from Nina, only the bars separating them. Her blue eyes looked inside of her.

“You please me,’ Illyria said simply, her head nudging towards the damp roof of the sewer a second later. “The moon is risen.’

Before she could ask how she knew, Nina felt the change begin, reeling back. It took moments, and soon only the wolf remained. It roared in newborn fury, shaking Nina´s refrigerator magnets, and spewing hot drops of saliva across Illyria´s face. It clawed at her, slamming against the cage like the beast it was. Illyria, staring almost passively at the creature, reached forward and, with a deft yank, opened the cage door. The wolf lunged, and Illyria quickly stopped it with one hand, clamped at the base of it´s throat. She didn´t kill it, though. It raked it´s claws across her shoulder in rage. Illyria smiled.

“NOW...you are worthy,’ she said, leaping forward and tackling the wolf to the ground.

Nina´s eyes opened languorously, the thin carpet of the cage pressing into her cheek. She felt oddly peaceful, satisfied...usually she awoke ravenous and just a little on edge, eager to return to life as a human being.

Today, she felt like she could lay in that cage for another few hours. It was odd, until she opened her eyes fully, and noticed the cage door was open. And there was an arm draped across her.

Now that was odd.

Slowly turning, Nina realized with surprisingly minimal shock it was Illyria´s arm laying overtop her, tufts of brown fur clenched tightly in her fingers. She glanced over her shoulder, and Illyria twitched, pushing up along Nina´s back. And maybe it was the overwhelming smells in the cage, so different from the usual dank and fur and bloodlust, but for some reason the sudden epiphany that she was being spooned by a demon-god didn´t seem to bother her just now.

Illyria´s eyes flashed open the moment Nina´s were upon her. “You are awake,’ she said, in what passed in her tones as a sleepy voice. Nina smiled back, breathing in more of the scents in the small space. She flushed.

“Good morning,’ she said, softly, “...umm...did we...I mean, from the smells, we did a FEW times, but...’

“I wished to explore that which my last guide would not show me,’ Illyria said simply, “...to communicate with humans, I deemed it best to operate on the level of beasts.’

Smiling shyly, Nina worked around and lay on her back, and Illyria half-propped herself up with one arm, looking down on her. Her bodysuit was gone, and all across her bare body fresh wounds were dripping blood. Despite the intoxication of the smell of it, Nina worried.

“God, I just finished patching you UP,’ she said, running a soft finger around one of the damaged parts of Illyria´s arm. The god looked with wide eyes.

“You will do it again,’ she commanded, then adding, “...I find your ministrations...adequate.’

“Your pillow talk´s improving,’ Nina joked, earning a confused stare from Illyria. She ran a finger through her blue hair, and it felt like silk and steel at the same time. “So...what happens now?’

“You will be my guide,’ Illyria told her, “...my teacher. You will show me the ways of this world...if you wish it.’

Illyria cast a stone stare, and Nina wondered how huge a step it had been for her to add in that ‘if you wish´ part at the end.

“You want me to be your...cozy one? What was it?’

“Qwa´ha Xahn,’ Illyria corrected.

“Gesundheit.’

Illyria glared in befuddlement, and Nina started to giggle. “I´m teasing,’ she laughed, then calmed a moment later. “And I accept.’

They stared at one another for a moment before Nina broke the silence. “So, umm...what do you want to know?’

Illyria tilted her head. “Explain ‘Pillow Talk´.’